The best toys - two boxes I think all kids should have

 The Costume Box and The Collage Box are two things I think of as essential for all households with kids. I think I must have inherited my philosophy regarding children's toys from my mother. She believed quite firmly that children really shouldn't have a ton of toys, especially "cheap junkie" ones. We also didn't have a lot of money, so it was easy to stick to this. 

They did splurge to get me a Patty Playpal doll when I had my tonsils out, I think I was about age 4. This doll was widely advertised on TV as a life size doll who could share your clothes and be almost like a real live playmate. I was thrilled. But my mother said once I got her clothes off I found it too hard to maneuver her and I would just drag this naked large doll around the house by her hair.

My mother did believe in books. Ours were mostly from the library, though we did have some Little Golden Books and a World Book Encyclopedia. And she approved of art supplies and building toys. I remember a nice set of solid wood blocks my brother and I shared. And Lincoln Logs.

I tried to implement this with my daughter. Though I was not as disciplined because when my daughter was young I used to go to garage sales every Saturday and there were always so many great children's items at ridiculously low prices that I could not resist. I think sometimes more toys are overwhelming and less appreciated compared to when they are scarcer.

But one of her favorite things, right up there with the kitchen I made for her, was The Costume Box. A large carton filled with various outfits and accessories. I had fun collecting the contents, mostly from the aforementioned yard sales. Filmy gauzy fabrics, hats, fake furs, beads, and other things like that were a big hit. Whenever other children came to play, dressing up would be a main activity. And this interest held for many years. Such an easy to put together but satisfying pastime.

A Collage Box was another idea I got from my childhood. My father, although his occupation was a ladies dress cutter in the garment district of NY, was always a creative, art appreciating type. It was his idea to set aside a carton and put all random interesting bits and bobs into it. Later to be used to arrange and paste and form a collage with. A little doily, some tissue paper, a ticket stub, some gold foil from candies, things like that soon made their way into the box. And it was always at the ready if a card needed to be made or just something to do on a rainy day. P.S. I still have one.

You've got to laugh a little

I'm someone who often clicks on sad headlines, which thanks to modern technology, are now available from all over the world in a moment's time. And lord knows there is no shortage of bad news nowadays. To say nothing of the overall sad state of the world in general. And then I have an unfortunate tendency to perseverate on these things. Sometimes it will stay with me for days if I read something particularly sad. Even seeing forlorn dogs in ASPCA ads can leave me feeling troubled for awhile.

I know I should probably just limit my reading of the news. But I don't. I know I should also do more about trying to change bad situations where I can. I do some things, but I know I could do a lot more. And some things I read are just horrible bad luck, fate, and nothing that I could influence.

To counteract this, lately, I have been looking for things that make me laugh (in addition to Mr Nankie's jokes). Here are two that work for me.

I just discovered this guy, Ryan George, on YouTube and thought he was pretty funny. I've only watched a couple so far, and he has lots. This "Tools" one made me laugh and another one "The First Guy to Ever Bring Home a Cat"  where he tries to sell his roommate on the merits of having a cat. "He's very clean, he licks himself constantly". Roommate responds, "I don't know if that makes him clean so much as covered in saliva.

Another one I like a lot, is Dr Glaucomflecken. Perhaps you need to have a medical background to fully appreciate the nuances, but really the way he plays all the different roles and gets the details so right, is very funny to me. Actually, I just realized Ryan George (above) does that too. There's something about one person playing all those characters that really makes me laugh. Like I used to love Lily Tomlin back in the day. Especially as Ernestine, the telephone switchboard operator. Do young people today even know what a switchboard is?

Things I Try to Eat Every Day (or at least fairly often)

EDITED TO ADD: this is from my first blog incarnation, approximately 5 years ago now. Some things still hold true in this post and some don't. I will make a new post at some point about how my current eating habits have evolved.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Although I still take quite a few supplements, I am coming to the realization that it is probably best to just eat real whole foods, close to the way that nature provided them, or as they say, "foods your grandmother would recognize".  It can't be a coincidence that the very elements that we need for our bodies to function are found abundantly in the things growing around us. Not on an Oreo assembly line.

I try to eat foods from these categories daily or at least several times a week. Whether they will increase my longevity, who knows? I do know that I feel better in general, when I eat these things. And fortunately, to me, they don't taste too bad.  The more I eat them, the more I find the taste appealing. (I have not been able to get used to the SMELL of kimchee however! The whole house stinks for awhile after I open a jar!)

My mood and my energy level are usually better when I eat like this.  And I definitely seem to get colds/flu/sore throats much less often than I used to. They haven't cured everything though - I still have muscle pain/stiffness in my low back and neck, particularly after first arising from being immobile too long. Fortunately though, it is at a low level and doesn't keep me from doing anything.

My hope is if I continue eating this way, even those symptoms will gradually abate. One thing I have noticed with holistic methods is changes can take a while, over months to years (the same way problems often develop).  Unlike pharmaceutical solutions, the results may not be as immediately dramatic. But then neither are the side effects!

These are the foods:

Greens - parsley or other herbs - sometimes I'll eat a few sprigs of the oregano and thyme I grow in a pot on my balcony, scallions, moringa powder (I know not really a whole food, but a powdered version of one) I usually choose organic as they are not too much more costly for these items.

Fish or fish oil - salmon, cod liver oil, herring, sardines, oysters

Fermented - kimchi, pickles, sauerkraut, kombucha, kefir (these can fairly easily be made at home - there are tons of YouTube videos - but my experience was that the commercial ones always tasted better and I really didn't want to put in the time and effort, so for now I buy them. Maybe when I'm retired I'll give them another try.)

Seaweed - dulse flakes, in sheets (from Trader Joe's)

Antioxidants - olive oil, elderberry syrup, olives, olive oil or olive extract, pomegranate, sea buckthorn, blueberries

ACV (apple cider vinegar)

Sea salt - good source of minerals. I don't find it has any effect on my blood pressure, which has always been low normal. Apparently only a small percentage of the population, that is genetically susceptible, really needs to avoid salt. And too little salt can be just as bad as too much - like many things our body needs.

Eggs - free range when possible

Liver (organic only) - once a week to two weeks (supposedly healthiest food you can eat, but you don't want to overdo it, as Vitamin A can be toxic in too high doses)

Green tea and/or coffee

Bittersweet chocolate, a few squares daily

Most of these can be purchased on Amazon or at Whole Foods or other health food type stores. I am lucky to have an Asian grocery store, Mitsuya, near me where I get the kimchee. (I also used to get natto there, but that is one I decided I really do not like enough to put on my regular rotation, no matter how healthy it purportedly is!) There is also a Russian market near my work where I purchase cod liver and sea buckthorn berries. Ethnic markets are often a good source of healthy foods as well as being fun to explore!

I also try to work in garlic, ginger and turmeric, but need to be a bit more diligent about this. Garlic I use in cooking but not as often as I should. Ginger I drink as ginger teabags, but I'd like to use fresh ginger more. I have used fresh turmeric in smoothies, but honestly I am not crazy about the taste and it makes a mess turning everything orange!

For protein, I primarily have fish or free range eggs. I will eat grass-fed beef from time to time, and very infrequently, free range chicken.

I eat fruits, but not too liberally because most, other than berries, can raise your blood sugar too high. I eat vegetables.  I love nuts but try to eat just a handful a day because of the high Omega 6 issue. It's not easy for me to stop at just one handful though.

Also important - the foods I try to avoid or eat less of (but I don't make myself crazy - if something really appeals to me I will eat it no matter what! I just try not to go overboard): sugar, grains, legumes, dairy (although I make an exception for cheese, which I love and occasionally yogurt) any high Omega 6 oils - which are in processed and restaurant foods, corn, soy, anything containing high fructose corn syrup, such as bottled salad dressings. I use olive oil and balsamic vinegar on my salads.

Our goodnight ritual

 

"The goodnight ritual" as we always called it, is one of my happiest memories of my daughter's childhood. I think she looks back on it fondly too. Each night after washing up and getting ready for bed, my husband, myself, and our daughter would settle in to her bed to read a picture book or two. Dad, although he often fell asleep part way through, enjoyed it as well. I recall he used to ask me, "will you still read to me even when she's grown?"  Well it's now 25 years later and no, I do not read to him! But at the time we used to both enjoy the books and were often impressed at the high caliber of children's books we got from the library. I mean there were some we didn't care for but that she loved (Richard Scarry, Lowly Worm and the infinite annoying details of those books comes to mind) but for the most part we found many we all enjoyed. I loved reading classics that I recalled fondly from my own childhood (Make Way for Ducklings, Blueberries for Sal).

But the real highlight was the last part of the ritual, what we called "Once upon a time". It was her own personal story and involved me starting with the exact same phrasing every night:  "Once upon a time there was a little girl named L_____ E____ O______ and she lived at 124 Q__________ St with her mommy and daddy who loved her very very much. And on this particular day, she____________________."  At this point I would improvise and tell about some aspect of her day. It was easy on days where we did something in particular, like attended a birthday party or went to the beach. But some days we did nothing special at all and I would have to rack my brain to come up with something, anything. "And on this particular day we saw some ants on the deck." It didn't matter, she loved it. 

By the way, the second picture above, with the quote about reading, is not there because I think high ACT scores (do they even still use them?) and academic achievement are the end all and be all. But because I do think reading is more important than all those other activities listed, in helping a child to have a satisfying, enjoyable and successful life. I am grateful that my parents passed their love of reading on to me.

 

My quickie dinner tonight

Sometimes I just don't feel like cooking. Actually many times I don't. So this is a go-to quickie meal I put together. It's not the most exciting meal but it actually tastes better than it looks, well to me anyway. Mr Nankie won't even try it. I find it satisfying and healthy. I like to use whole foods as much as possible. Meaning just one ingredient foods, that are in the same form as they first came into the world. 

I microwave the potato (Yukon gold are my favorite) for 2 minutes, cut it up into small pieces, add it to an avocado cut up in chunks, and some sardines. My favorite are these skinless and boneless ones that I get at Trader Joe's. Perhaps a little less nutritious than if they had skin and bones, but they are a lot meatier and don't have a strong fishy smell. I add the oil from the sardines and some salt and balsamic vinegar and fresh cilantro when I have it.

The apple was dessert. Followed a little later by a bowl of ice cream!

 

 

 

 

           

 

One trait of successful people that I definitely don't have

 I have read several books and articles lately where the person who is the subject of the book/article and happens to be very successful in their field, states they get their most unpleasant task of the day out of the way as quickly as possible, by doing it first, soon after waking up.

The most recent one was a very interesting biography of Paul Revere Williams, the architect who overcame many obstacles (orphaned by age 4 was one) to achieve a rare degree of success for a Black man at that time. He was known as architect to the stars, although he designed many other buildings too. He was extremely prolific and many of his buidings are very famous. Like the iconic pink Beverly Hills Hotel, for example. 

I read that he always woke up early and did his most distasteful chore first.

Well that would never be me. Unfortunately my natural inclination is to put off anything I find difficult or unpleasant (which are most things that aren't on my fun/enjoyable list) to the last possible moment. 

And although I wake up early, my favorite thing is to sit around reading online over coffee and breakfast, frequently til midday, now that I am retired. Mr Nankie likes that too and it is quite pleasant. Not the best for productivity however.

I am definitely a hard core procrastinator. I mean I do ultimately get done what I need to - I managed to get an education, have a successful career, raise my daughter, and have a long satisfying marriage, so I'm not doing too badly. But my first instinct is always to put things off.

My father was similar. We are particularly bad at responding to letters/emails promptly. Almost every one starts with "sorry I haven't written". Maybe a genetic component? Though not present in brother or mother.

The internet hasn't helped the situation. Could there be a better way to avoid doing what one doesn't feel like doing?

 

Learning a new skill (Can you teach an old dog a new trick?)

 I am determined to learn to draw before I die. Throughout my life I have always had an interest in sketching and would work at it for several months at a time and then get discouraged and drop it. I hope this time will be different. I have the time now that I am retired, so that excuse is gone. I have challenged myself to do a 20" drawing every day for a month. So far I've done three. It is so easy to get discouraged when trying to learn something new. When the result doesn't turn out like the vision you have in your head it is easy to give up.

But I try to remind myself every new skill felt like this at first. Things that initially seemed so challenging (driving a car) become second nature. I need to allow myself to just feel the discomfort without being stymied by it. I think the main thing is to just keep at it, no matter what. And quash the little voice in your  head that is saying you're no good. I am finding the process of drawing itself, pleasant and relaxing, so I try to focus on that aspect and less on the result.

I'm inspired by Mr Nankie who is trying to learn the guitar. He plays along with his YouTube instructional videos nearly every night for an hour or two and has been doing that for about 6 months. Progress is slow, but it's there.

It is so easy to compare yourself to others and feel you don't measure up. We went to a guitar workshop performance at the local college and when we got home he said it was discouraging because he didn't think he'd ever be that good. Just like the time I was taking violin lessons in seventh grade and my mom, thinking it would inspire me, took me to a performance at Carnegie Hall! She said my response was "I could never be that good". 

I follow the "Urban Sketchers" on Facebook and am totally amazed at the quality of art they produce, right on scene. But I try to keep in mind how long they must have practiced to attain such proficiency. 

Just keep at it.